An Awesome Journey Decorated with Values – Friendship..!!!

March 5, 2010:

It happened again. Genuine and unconditional, that is how I would like to answer when I am asked to describe Friendship. I know it is more than that. Rest remains as a deep feeling in my inner self. Yet another friend is untying by distance. It’s a wound. It hurts. But it won’t last long. There is Time. He will come to cure it for me. He has helped me several times in doing so, in situations worse than this. But this time when it happened I thought to pen it. Felt like sharing…that’s all…

I commit to memory attending the interview with the least measure of apprehension or anticipation. I got the job. I joined my first job place in July, 2009. That was quite an unexpected windfall I got. I didn’t have to hunt for a job. It was not at all by my credit. Let me be more specific.

I was a tender kid, just a kid in my new office in contrast to my life until then. Apparently that was a total different world for me. Each and every face was brand new. Everything was changed in just one day. My dress code changed from casuals to formals. My fellow mates changed from classmates and batch mates to colleagues. My superiors changed from Teachers to Bosses. The whole thing happened in just one day. I’m a professional now. As I said earlier, if it was a miracle it was not by my big poise, but just because of the muscle of destiny. Days passed without any kind of expression.

I know…I will have some souls here too. But don’t know who they are and when and how will I run into them. I became close to many people before I met them, but the frequency never used to match. It’s not that I wrangle with all those who are not my friends. But I remain a lot reserved. I refuse to open up. Not intentionally, it’s an in-built feature. I can’t help it. Almost 2 months passed. As I believed and trusted in my destiny, I got 3 friends here. Again this time all of them elder than me. It seems that I am not all that fine in communicating with people of my same age. Like my friends sphere in my lovely Thrissur like Sureshettan, Sasi uncle, Venkidi Sami, Sojan Chettan, Dr. Ramkumar, Avinash, DivyaChechy(s) and some of my schoolmates with whom I'm still in touch..., here also I’m gaining some angels lacking wings – I got them.

Days were simply great after meeting them. Office ambiance (for me) by no means remained the same. Their friendship gave me a very good growth in that until then strange atmosphere of my 1st job place. Mails, sms’, going out for lunch, treats, calling each other’s nicknames, photo sessions, giving me the flashbacks of various gossips in office...So on, it went. I never thought I would be a fraction of them. But I really loved the friendship of those three even before being a part of them. Seeing such lovely closeness also gives me immense bliss. Here also…my entry was automatic.

Somehow… somewhere…someone... keeps sending some persons to be my friends. They develop into my brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, grandparents and all formats of blood relation according to their age. Perhaps I can utter a hundred stories where these “wave-length” relations have come as a direct proxy whenever and wherever the blood relation fails either to live or to uphold its quality. I love me more for my affection and relation that I have with these people.

This could be the friendship with the shortest span of my life. But it never failed to drill so deep and hard into me. Really a couple of good days were those. Our visit to Indonesia on deputation spited the gang to two halves. Two months after that…on this day came the second split. She got a nice offer away from here, and is planning to settle down there with her husband who already got a job there and her cute little son. This is the most gripping trait of life. Because the twists and turns it makes in our journey without a roadmap is simply beyond the imaginations of any story writer. It may sometimes be a reason to laugh and sometimes a reason to cry. Nothing stands forever. Sometimes we also pray for them, when we understand that there is a better part of life waiting for them far away forms us.

Perhaps, I think that we should not be blindly attached to anyone. Because, the more you are attached to a person the more will be the pain when he/she is separated from us. As a kid I remember myself weeping when I miss my cousins and relatives when we reach back Dubai after our summer vacation. Amma used to scold me a lot for being attached to people so deeply and so soon. She always says that that will be your flaw in life. She was true. Incidents like parting, death, break ups etc gave me practical’s of Amma’s theories. Those changed me.

But still, even today I love people and get attached to them much sooner and deeper than before. But the tides that hit the shores within me keep blowing a slow and cold breeze which always keep on saying softly without hurting me “The story of Friendship is Eternal…but the characters keep changing. Don’t say that you want the same characters throughout...Everyone needs a chance to meet everyone…Don’t be the end of any chain…be a part of it...” This strategy has really given me a revival. I think the awareness of detachment makes you powerful.

An office without four of us working together was not unimaginable. As I told, I had already scripted these episodes and have read them several times as our friendship grew thicker and deeper. Parting with friends in physical distance is not a new thing for all of us. There are times when we don’t even think of them as we gallop into future bearing the pressure, pleasure, struggle and new friends. Even though I too am nothing different, what I pray and strive for is to be in touch with all those who was and is my friends at least until I’m brain dead. Because I believe that relationships are not a disposable product that we buy from the store of Good God…it should be gifted…!!!

…but still…even though I spelled all these…sometimes when some of the most beautiful flicks and scenes of those days make a flicker in psyche…it…it aches…

LAL SALAM...!!!

May 20, 2004. I have a crystal clear image of that night. Thrissur was not fully asleep that night. Former Cheif Minister of Kerala, E.K Nayanar’s corpse, which was on its way to Kannur from Trivandrum, was scheduled to halt in Thrissur that night. Due to the delay that happened at all the halted places, the time was around midnight when it reached Thrissur Corporation Office. Such was the rush of people who turned up for a last glimpse of the leader all along the route that the 500-km-long journey took five and a half hours more than the scheduled time.

On the other side, on the North-West face of the Swaraj Round, at Vadakkumnathan Temple premise, Matha Amrithananthamayi’s devotees were conducting a religious program. That was an overnight program with Spiritual talks, Bhajans, and Blessings. The Traffic in Round resembled the eve of Thrissur Pooram. It was a total mess.

Was it because of the sorrow of a dear leader's demise, or was it because of the divinity of Matha Amrithananthamayi? I don’t know why it was so. The sky was pouring heavily. The devotees of Matha Amrithananthamayi could withstand the rain only for less than an hour. The chaired area was almost empty. Most of the people who did not get a token for receiving her hug-blessing left the place without a second thought. Some who had the token gave it back to the volunteers and scooted.

But the scene was different in front of the Thrissur Corporation Office. Men and women of all age kept coming from both ends of M.O Road either in groups or alone roaring “Lal salaam" for their leader. The situation was out of control for the Police Department. Perhaps there was nothing to control. That was the most disciplined political crowd I have ever seen. Perhaps that was the most emotional one too.

Those "Inquilab Zindabad" are still echoing in my ears. When I close my eyes I can see those strong fists rising into air punching the rain drops. Some aged people was leaning on the pillars, some fainted without being able to carry their heavy heart. They were running out of tolerance as if it was the body of their very close family member that was brought covered in white. The young blood supported those who fell down with one hand and the other hand still punching those heavy raindrops and throats roaring the slogans. Each and every voice was cracked as if coming from a torn throat; yet very loud. Their tears were not visible in the rain. But I saw them wiping their eyes. A quote of Charlie Chaplin whispered in my mind. “I love to walk in the rain because no one can see my tears”. I now think that it could be that big leader hands that came down for the last time to wipe the tears of his supporters as that heavy rain. This is what a leader should mean. Controversies may be there. Who cares? Even our poor gods are not free from that.

  

Nobody was invited to both the gatherings at each end of Thrissur that night. But the spirit was different. A ruler is considered equivalent to the gods for the Indians right from the beginning of History and a rain was quite enough to test and prove it again. One cannot say that it was the Party that won there. It was E K. Nayanar’s victory. A victory that even Death would turn back once again with a smile. What an irony!! And this was the only way how his subjects could express it for the last time. And that justifies why it came out to be an emotional one.

Even I have prayed for the soul of this atheist. 

– My tribute to those comrades...a deep red Salute...LAL SALAAM…!!!

Thoovanathumbikal

I remember the song...”Onnam ragam paadi..onnine maathram thedi.." I used to cry when I was a kid of 3-4 years old to hear that song again and again without knowing that there was no rewinding in radio. That was my favorite song those days. No. Perhaps I can say that was the song which I could recognize as the first song of my life which I discovered to sing by myself.

That song became dearer to me when I saw Mohanlal in it. Our whole family are real Mohanlal fans. For us, when we grew up Mohanlal became Lalettan among our cousins. And our life in Thrissur became yet another factor for this movie to catch my soul. I was in love. No, not 'was', I’m in true blind love with my town, the typical Thrissur slang, the Thrissur Round and Vadakkumnathan Temple... I can breathe easily there...

It was during my B.com 2nd year that I joined NIIT. I got some pretty good friends there. Rakesh, Saneesh, Jaggoo, Venkidi, Rahul a.k.a Committee, Rashid, Geo, Sreekesh and Sreenath. As like in all the students gang, movies used to be the main topic for our hot discussions during the intervals and other leisure hours. But the factor to be noticed was, never ever was it about the current releases. It always used to be about the classics that had been made in Malayalam. We were crazy about Padmarajan and Bharathan movies. Those were a set of real good days.

In the duo, Padmarajan stood a little higher among us. Again a reason was born which brought Thoovanathumbikal closer to me. It will be suicidal if i just say that it’s a good movie. It’s a class. With no similarities, without minding any bloody criticisms, a story like a river...an essence like a poem…that is bold, beautiful and strong from all possible view points. Both the protagonists, Jayakrishnan and Clara possess a multi faceted outfit. Though Jayakrishnan was a real life character, the moulding by Padmarajan and the rendering by Mohanlal was simply brilliant. And Clara...what to say about that character. She is the linchpin of the story. You can also see Padmarajan beautifully signing this classic with rain which makes a cameo appearance in the movie.

Even though I told all these, I have only seen this classic bits and pieces during those days. i never got a chance for seeing it in a stretch until I bought the CD with brother-in-law, Dineshettan from Music Park, Thrissur. Thank God..!! For we have so many crazes in common. Like…the films of Mohanlal, sound of Yesudas…and it goes on. Since then I don’t know how many times I have watched this film. That is one of those classic movies I have in my mobile also, since there are some things I would like to be with me wherever I go.The story depicts a friendly, sincere and virile man and his resolutions, his crazes and so on. It’s a true story with a handful of class artists and shockingly brilliant sequences. Another major factor was the locations, that was naturally natural.I reckon…, the theory of diminishing marginal utility taught in our economics class turns out to be something meaningless every time I watch this movie. Each time the satisfaction climbs a never ending sky. There is no saturation.

Every time I see this flick there is a sense of contentment .I think the climax has a lot to do with this. The movie keeps haunting me for hours after I watch it and this happens every single time. Especially the background score...WOW!!

I couldn’t help feeling nostalgic.... I am satisfied yet another time…

Thoovanathumbikal..."Butterflies of the spraying rain"....

Death – A Revelation so beautiful…

Teacher’s death… I think that was what made the face of Death look more beautiful for me. Even many movies, talks and articles have played some role in making Death as one of my most fascinating subjects. I don’t know why people are so afraid. Why say people..?? Even I was just the same. Even I had a very dull color for Death in my mind. These false thoughts, is like a river that started flowing form time unidentified through the generations born and dead. And it’s still flowing. It’s now more contaminated. It is gaining strength by each passing generation.

It is true that Death brings loses to those left over by the dead. It happens at any stage of life. For some it may happen when life has just begun blossoming. He may not visit someone who is waiting for him. Hence, some so called philosophers defines him as a “Clown without the sense of scene”.

But, I don’t exactly know how and when. It can be my nuttiness to think and speak so. The mass may not accept it. I know. But, Death is also an Angel sent from a place unknown, separating us from our physical form of existence. Why do we need to be afraid of it? Actually he is the real hero. He is the one who gives us a realization that there is still something on the face of Mother Earth that is unstoppable by the Homo sapiens.

It is just a divergence. May be, who knows..?? If it’s our birth into a better world. Or can we actually consider this as the world of only those who are alive? How mighty could be their strength when compared to those of the living ones?

Man has everything. He has conquered everything above and below the sun. He has cracked unanswered questions of murders happened 3000 years ago. He started to remodel the face of mother earth. But the masterpiece of the Last Who... remains a monopoly - Death.

There is no discovery that can stop him. A brilliant masterpiece indeed. I don’t know if anyone can agree with me. I also won’t demand that. Most of us imagine him as something caused due to evil doing on earth. Something that comes in the night’s darkness to steal life. I exactly don’t know when I started. But, I liked to give Him different attire. Just think like how I’m going to say. I’m sure you will also be fearless. No one has seen him, no one has touched him, you can’t predict his arrival but everyone knows him. Perhaps pretty well. Like a real hero. The final unexpected guest of our life. Can come in any form. I feel him as a hero. The final form a hero.

It is a great phenomenon. You can’t call it annihilation. It is just a separation. I have heard many atheists orating. There is nothing called soul, it’s just a superstitious idiocy and so on. But, let me ask. Is there any markable difference between one who is dead man and one who is alive? An energy is there, which when lost we call him dead. For instance, this world calls me Varun only until I have the ability to breathe. When that energy is taken out of my body, it’s just a mass of flesh, blood and bones. Then the name becomes Dead Body. They ask, is the body cremated? No one will ask is Varun cremated. We all have this awareness in an unknown corner of our subconscious state of mind. You can’t call it a thing or substance because it’s a form of energy. For those energy to prevail on earth it is given a body and a name...like all the other forms of energy is given a name, the energy within us...no, the real we, are called SOUL.

Souls Exists?

We all fear that which we cannot understand. The tales of spirits have flowing down from generation to generation, as haunting and unknown creatures lurking in the dark. Today we like to think we are more intelligent than that, and to believe in spirits is nonsense and crazy talk! Do spirits exist? Is there any proof? There is another question, is there any proof that spirits DO NOT exist?

If we want to discuss this on a scientific and rational basis then we should think about what Einstein said when he spoke of human beings and the process of life and Death.

Einstein observed that human beings are made up of energy, and this energy is constantly moving. That which we may think of as solid matter is, in reality not solid at all! Between every molecule is energy, moving, even if we cannot see it. Everything is moving at speeds accelerated beyond what the eyes can see, energy is constant.

Now if we all comprehend that, then we must agree that since energy does not stop, than even after the Death of the body, that same energy is still in existence. It does not need any proof as it is self-evident. Through a process of Self-enquiry one comes to understand its nature. This process is one of negating all objective concepts and to continually ask oneself "who am I?" Am I the body? The senses? The thoughts? Etc, once all objectivity has ceased what remains is pure subjective Self — that is Soul.

What some may call a spirit others may call energy force, and so, it is all the words you use. No one stops to think. See how beautiful the concept is.

There is nothing to fear in it. Only the dead body can pass negative energy. When the soul was there in that body it could have been your favorite person. When it’s gone you fear the body. Which clearly states that what was within was the positive form. It is a proved science. But nobody wants to believe it.

After all this writing I can hear the ‘energy’ in me making a petite odd prayer... “Oh God!! ...” No, I'm not saying it. Let there be something on tenterhooks. In a Shyamaprasad style of storytelling, I'm leaving it to you...