Welcome My Dear World…!!!

This blog is just an endeavor to pen and share some episodes of my life and some waves of thoughts that hit me. Please don’t mistake that you can study me as a whole in here. I’m sorry, for I too have many things to be kept reserved either within my family schema or within my psyche. But whatever that have been scribbled in this sunless sky is true. I promise.

All the inhabitants of Mother Earth are free to view this blog and post their critics, observations and suggestions.

Here mentations are drifting into a sunless sky...and I named it “Aphorisms”….Keep reading…

--Varun



Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Dear Pain..,


Dear Pain..,
You have shattered me.
You have confused and isolated me.
You snatched my energy and my confidence,
In each step you climbed to reach the peak though slowly.
The space within me that drained energy created,
Echoed fear and anxiety.

But, that was only until you conquered the peak.
I exist even after that.
Pain, oh dear…, now you are my best addiction.
You imparted a cute shining crystal of wisdom that
I am mightier than you are.

And as I inhale more of that wisdom-breeze,
I slowly reckon that you never even existed
And that you were just an enigmatic creation
Of my ignorant mind.

The most stupid creation of my thoughts…

Monday, September 3, 2012

The Meeting


I was sitting on the steps on the bank of Nila River (Bharathapuzha) drenched after few dips in her, for offering annual after-death rituals for my father the 16th time. The Sun was just born. The breeze that gave me a freezing shiver penetrated into me. That made me feel a communication which I’d like to believe was from heaven, through the baby Sun, as that tender breeze that came to me caressing the beautiful river and then into me. I felt abstracted totally. That was when I felt the touch of warm fingers on my shoulders. This wasn’t new to me. This is what forces me to this place every year. To feel this touch. But the warmth was deeper and more intense this time. May be because I was a little worn and weak time. All I could feel outside my skin was the cold drops from Nila that rolled all over me.

I could see or feel like seeing an energy that I always liked to call ‘Soul’, everywhere over there. Some were leaving, some trying to converse and some unwillingly flying back. The wonder in my eyes seeing the more than 64X or 128X fast forwarded motion of all beneath me, the Soul who stood next to me said, “The time-wheel have a longer diameter here than that of Earth. One heaven-day is one earth-year.”

Death was first just a word for me first. Then as I started to know, once it shocked me. As time rolled it turned out to be a fascination. Slowly I started admiring Him. Death…I believe it to be God’s proof that he still rules.

Soul then tells me that death is rather a beginning and not an end. It’s said that a body is a highway inn for the Soul. Life begins as Soul enters a body, following which the Soul remains in that body feeling this small-big world with the senses. And as time rolls Soul is forced to fly out from the cage of body as the later wares out.

The moment the last breath is exhaled, the body which was until then a mark of identity turns to a mass of dead meat, which waits either to burn in flames or decay under earth. What remains is the soul alone, which then moves with us in an intergalactic space that's beyond the description of the senses, until it gets a new body to enter.

“This is the fact, son. But, we guide those lives that struggle as we are lost to them. I had always been there around you.” He said. I made a hard attempt to speak. “I have felt that too. Th…though…” Suddenly, I felt water getting in my mouth making me gasp and breathing was also a task. Another sudden shiver woke me. “I” was taking a dip in the Nila after offering the rituals. I couldn’t believe how fast that time went.

Everything just passed by during my conversation with ‘Him’. Nothing abnormal or supernatural was seen anymore when I looked around. But I could still feel the shock all over my body. He must have gone. The montage of emotions I went through expressed a warm tiny candid drop of tear that rolled down my cheeks. Nobody noticed it. Nila wiped it cleverly, taking that drop deep into her.

I wished if we had the same ‘Time-wheel’ they had on earth too. Doesn’t matter.., I could still feel that energy’s unassailable presence around me that drives me steadily until the day I meet God’s proof…

Sunday, September 2, 2012

Transit


Waiting is a kind of suspended animation. Time solidifies: a dead weight. Waiting casts one's life into a little dungeon of time. It is a way of being controlled, of being rendered immobile and helpless. One can read a book or sing (odd looks from the others) or chat with strangers if the wait is long enough to begin forming a bond of shared experience.
These long transit hours are killing me. I feel that even the seconds hand on my watch is taking the pace of his dwarf counterpart. Sri Lanka During my primary school days, I had that comic thought that this country which I often draw like a drop of water falling off the tap’s tip, is just a swim away from the tip of my country. Even though it was years back when I was a kid, it would be a point of self betrayal when I deny the fact that that thought came into me several times. Fortunately or unfortunately, my swimming coach was not that professional enough to teach me swimming.
Waiting can turn Gandhi to Hilter. And so for a short-tempered guy like me it was as if 20 years of imprisonment. For me, waiting for a person even after the time scheduled was meant to be his death at the same moment he arrives. But when it is a wait to crash land like a meteor to the midst of your loved ones spreading laugh waves of happiness...it’s…it’s something bloody inexplicable.
Hmm, few more hours to go. There are bunches of hearts waiting for me just across this fragile channel of Indian Ocean. I can feel that gravity. But Sri Lankan Airlines never fly before time. :(