A Movie Review & The Thrissur Slang.

Languages…what to write about the hundreds or may be thousands of known and unknown, discovered and undiscovered, observed and unobserved languages on earth that all the beings – including humans, the seasons, the mountains, the oceans have.

Yesterday, for the 5^th time I saw that movie again. “Pranchiyettan and the Saint” – A complete Thrissur movie… Its yet another point added to the “Keep-Away-From-Mind” list when I’m away from Thrissur, preventing me from feeling nostalgic...or rather homesick.

Unlike in Thoovanathumbikal, there isn’t much of the outdoors shot in this flick that pulls me back. But, the typical Thrissur slang to which I’m literally addicted is used throughout the film. People of Thrissur are popular for their wits. Rather they are popular for the pinch of wit and a mass simplicity they add even while they are in an important conversation. Wits don’t mean that they crack out jokes every now and then. But it is the essence of this dialect that proclaims the people of Thrissur to be witty in whichever group they mix up.

Here’s some light to the slang… J

As far as I have learned, the “Thrissur Slang” is a dialect that keeps developing every passing day. There are words and phrases added to this dialect almost every day. Combining two or three words swallowing some joining-aid alphabets mixed with the use of metaphors for each and every incidence and all coming out in the trademark tune of the Thrissur Slang. That is the signature that every subjects of His Highness King Shakthan’s land bears on his/her mother tongue.

The Crown of Thrissur.

“A very big temple in 10 acres is said to have been built by Parasurama. It is a walled complex of fifteen shrines dating from the twelfth century or earlier. Here the deity is Shiva. The famous ‘Thrissur Pooram’, fathered by His Highness ShaktanThampuran, is celebrated in the precincts of the temple. To facilitate the Pooram he cleared teak forests of 54 acres around the temple. The temple is enclosed by 15 ft massive walls. The Gopurams, four, in carved wood and stone positioned in four directions around the temple. Bali (sacrifice) stones in brass seen everywhere. The ground is dotted with stone reliefs of prostrating men. The deities of Ayyappa and Rama, as ancillaries, are in comradeship with giant old trees. The Adi Sankaracharya is also accommodated. The exquisitely carved wood beautifies the shrines and Koothambalam (Temple Theater). The idols of Shiva positioned all around the main altar.”

This is what the “www” have got to say about the one massive subject what all the 317,474(approx.) “Geddys” including me boasts when we talk about our land…the cultural capital of Kerala – THRISSUR. It is Vadakkumnadhan Temple.

But for us Vadakkumnadhan is something beyond all these historic and architectural measurements. The first feeling one gets on entering through the Gopuram of the temple is the incredible space and light. It is a temple complex that has literally very much to boast about its history, culture, customs, and devotees. But to be frank, I never used to make any prayers in a typical so called “devotee” style.

If it’s to speak about my religious views, I don’t believe the force or whatsoever it is, that which is called “THE GOD”, to be like a Genie from the magic lamp. I believe him to be a companion of my thoughts. I took the freedom that this religion grants me to pick out any form in which you want to see this force from among the 330,000,000 forms of GODS. And I chose this 14 crescent moons topped by 3 serpent hoods symbol out of the entire 330,000,000 forms.

Once, one of my aunts asked me why I am so much addicted to Thrissur. I guess that her perspective was like ‘what is there so much to get attracted in Thrissur?’ I told her that it was this centuries old temple complex that keeps my mind glued to this place. It has given me lots of loads of friends. Being the youngest among them, there were some who care me like their own grandchild, some like their own child, and some others like their own younger brother. It has given me a social existence. It helped me to make my life easier. And this all happened even before I realized that I wanted all these kinds of reliefs. The state of mind that I experience in that 9 acres compound bounded by the 15 feet tall, elephant bellied walls, is inexplicable.

The welcoming wind that rushes whistling from within the walls of the mighty state of the art temple Gopuram which caresses you as you enter it; the clattering song sung by the leaves of the adolescent Ilanji tree on the left and the Asoka tree on the right to the tune of the mild wind; and the several scores of the Banyan trees older than our grandfathers; the stone laid circumambulation path; the tasty Neyyappam offered to the Lord; the Om Namah Shivaya chanting…so on it goes. This is where I belong. How on earth can I not be addicted to this..???

Actually, this was one among the very first of all those which I wanted to blog. But when it is about this structure I can’t be spontaneous and instantaneous like I was for all the previous 30 posts in Aphorisms. But still, here I failed…I failed to scribble (the word which one of my colleague always used for mentioning Aphorisms) even a Nano percent of what’s there in my mind. Once again I feel we haven’t found out enough words to paint our thoughts.

Though not to the mark as I expected have come out, an attempt made is giving me humdrum relief.

I simply love my land….the land of Vadakkumnadhan ruled by ShakthanThampuran….

Hero Hotel, Palace Road, Thrissur-680020

I never even thought that I would have a blog or so. It was my feel towards Rema Teacher that prompted me to do so. I couldn’t stop writing when it was about her. But after the first two posts, it was felt as if I had nothing else to mention as a post. One day when Dineshettan (My brother in law) asked me “what your next post is on?” I said I was waiting for a subject to get hooked in mind. For that he had a very enlightening reply for me. He said “You have subject all around you. All you have to be is a bit selective”. And the result is the remaining posts in my Aphorisms…which now will keep going….

A few days back when I surfing Orkut Communities related to Thrissur, I came to see a community for Hero Hotel. The very next second I too was a member of that community. The next piece of thought that struck me was to share this with the life around me. Some may think that, what is there so much to say about this very low-profile hotel…but.., Hero Hotel deserves a post in my Aphorisms…

Hero Hotel - It’s not a star hotel, nor does it have a chain or any sister concerns. You can only find it at the Palace Road, Thrissur; as one odd figure in the row of world class textile and jewellery showrooms. It is Hero Hotel. You can find it only in Thrissur…only - in - Thrissur.

Hero Hotel is situated in the midst of the Palace Road, which is becoming the most enterprising 1.2 Kilometers of straight line in Thrissur…a place where one can find a very rare blend of Art and Commerce thriving into international fame every passing moment. Apart from that, what this thirty year old hotel has to boast about is the wide range of its customers. From veteran artists, dancers, theatre artists, business men...anyone and everyone can be found there. I have seen many of the prominent figures of Malayalam film industry like Late Bharath Murali, Shwetha Menon, Revathy, the ace directors Adoor Gopalakrishnan and Shyamaprasad here. Even longer is the list of those who can be found there, who make a short visit during the break of any function going on in the Kerala Sahithya Academy, to have a strong tea or snacks. They are all common there. They will be having no reserved tables, no one staring at them and no crowd around them for autographs or photographs. And above the reach of the act of counting will be the moments when the walls of this hotel witnessed the long chats with its masterpiece combination dish – “Porotta, Beef fry, gravy and tea” decorating the table and also being a medium for their chats regardless of its importance. Discussions can go up to any level like the latest issues in art, music, cinema, dance, fashion, banking, animation, real estate and what not.

Arun, a strong Communist and an ardent VS fan, the cool and gentle Sajeeve, -- they own this Hotel now which was started by their father. The other to-be-mentioned characters who can be found here are - the irresistible IKKA (Jamalikka), Thadiyan - a strong fan of Mohanlal, Johnson, Guruvayoorappan- the film critic, Itty, Paul Chandy , Late Santhosh Jogi – the actor, the band Overdrive, the theater activists, the Social Workers, The HDFC Executives, Arena Animators, The Cinematic Dancers…the list goes on.

This is Hero Hotel. It was when I’m in studying in my 9th standard that I came to see this Hotel for the first time. I used to have tuitions after school hours at Rajarathnam Sir’s Tuition center in Palace Road for Maths every weekday from 5:15 pm to 7:15pm. One day when I and Ashwin were returning home I came to notice a new hotel in the corner where the road to Vadakke Bus stand starts from the Palace Road. The rush and the overall atmosphere was as if a festival in there. On my further enquiry I came to know that it was not a new one and it was reopened after a renovation.

For the past 11 years dishes of Hero Hotel keeps my mouth watering. Over these years I also was lucky enough to gain a lot of friends there. And even now ArunChettan and SajeeveChettan call me “Kutty” (meaning Kid). Once, very recently, I asked ArunChettan that everyone stares at me when he call me like that. They wonder: “is Arun calling this big guy, ‘Kutty’”. His reply was something which made me love me more. It was like this which started with a loud echoing laugh… “I don’t remember exactly when you came here for the first time. But, you were a kid when I started to notice you. No matter how big you grow or where you reach…in Hero Hotel you will be called liked that only…” what made me happy was that even in the big crowd that passes through he is mind each day…I have a place in his mind…that’s where I tasted the sweetest honey of friendship for yet another time….

But some of my schoolmates used to stand with the opinion that Hero is no so clean or not so much measure is done to maintain a good ambience when compared to the other famous no-so-big hotels in Thrissur like Bharath, Pathans or Jaya and you cant go there with your family and all. Never ever have I cared about those they used to say. It may be because of a total different circle of friends that I have over there like those names mentioned somewhere above. Or, it could be the addiction to those dishes that was sprouted in me that made me not to care about these. Nor was I bedridden because of some illness from this hotel.

I never used to go there with family. This is the resort only for buying parcel of food and having it at home for the "most-lazy" evenings. But some days when Amma is away, Vivu (my cousin, my right-hand) come my house by around 10pm. And then we used to go to Hero for a very slow dinner and come back late after having chat with all those whom we see there.

If there is a place for us to buy food to make some normal lazy days a little more delicious, this is it. It is Hero Hotel. You can find it only in Thrissur…only - in - Thrissur….!!!

My Version of Thrissur Pooram...

Thrissur Pooram is today, rightfully, called 'the Pooram of all Poorams'. Thrissur Pooram is a culture highlight that towers above all other festivals. It is a festival unique in its pageantry, magnitude and participation. Thrissur Pooram is celebrated every year, on the Pooram day, in the month of Medam (mid-April to mid-May) as per the Malayalam calendar. While all Pooram have a huge influence on surrounding neighborhoods and towns, few other festivals require their active involvement. Thrissur town plays host, for 36 hours from the wee hours of the Pooram day, to one of the prevalent compilation of people and elephants.

It was orchestrated by the then ruler of Cochin, Raja Rama Varma, better known as "Shakthan Thampuran", in 1798. The richly ornamented elephants, as seen during the Thrissur Pooram, are now globally recognized. On the Pooram day, nearly hundred elephants will pass through the very center of Thrissur town, or the Vadakkumnathan temple. The key skin of the Pooram fiesta are these festooned elephants with their Nettipattam (decorative headdress), stunning crafted the Kolam, enhancing glockenspiel and ornaments etc. Add to this the Panchavadyam, the rhythmic percussion of the drum, and what would be a cacophony otherwise is turned into an organized but spontaneous sonata. The fireworks will be put on show in the early hours of the next day, will rival shows held anywhere in the world, without even using many of the modern and newer pyrotechnics.

All these keeps the minds of the kids and elders racing at a uniform pace with each bang on the drums. We can see Pooram becoming a common feel over there. And we can feel Pooram taking the elf out of us.



Today 24th April, was the day. Today was Thrissur Pooram. Before making any further move on this post, I would like to express gratitude to my cousins, my right and left hands, Vivu and Navi and the technology that bridged us to make it possible for me to hear the Melam from the office room here in Jakarta.

The festival which has always been a matter of bombshell for me. I haven’t heard of any other festival which has gained so much of esteem irrespective of age, gender, caste, religion and even nationality. People simply enjoy the divine ambiance that Pooram creates. For the natives of Thrissur, each event of Pooram is so emotional…each event. Like the Madathil Varavu, procession in front of Paramekkavu Temple, Elanjithara Melam, Kudamaattam, the eight Cheru-Poorams and the heaven-shaking “Vedikkett” (Fire Works).

Even though the tides participating in the ocean called “Thrissur Pooram” takes its origin several miles away and around the Thrissur town, tides from all over hit the center-point of Thrissur – Vadakkumnathan temple at the same time, which then becomes the epicenter for the entire mind-quaking 36 hours. Really fascinating is the coordination and the choreography of the entire event. Thrissur Pooram has a prosperous history of more than two centuries. The timing, splitting, grouping and assembling of the eight Cheru-Poorams (small parts of Pooram from eight different regions) to form two big Poorams between the two temples, Paramekkavu and Thiruvambady, and then to stand head to head for the color showering “Kudamaattam” is inexplicable. This is why the Pooram of my Thrissur is called the “Festival of all Festivals”. The tradition and the agenda of Pooram remains intact even after two hundred and eleven years. But the festivity keeps escalating every passing year.

The city experiences a jubilant mood since the opening of the Pooram Exhibition, the tempo starts with the flag hosting. This tempo then will be geared up by the sample fireworks displayed in the Vadakkumnathan maidan on the day before the Pooram eve.. This is the curtain raiser to the real display of pyrotechnics of the Pooram. Started as a sample testing of the fire works for alternation/ modification, it has turned to an event attracting very huge crowd.

The “Chamayakazcha” (Viewing the display of decorations &ornaments) is another amazing experience of Pooram which is opened for 36 (last two nights and day).

Proudly I must say…, our family also has a role in Thrissur Pooram. Seven days before the Thrissur Pooram, there is a traditional flag hoisting ceremony in the eight temples which bring the Cheru-Poorams to the two sides, Paramekkavu and Thiruvambady. The Thrissur Pooram flag hoisting ceremony will be first conducted at the two major temples, Paramekkavu and Thiruvambady. This is a traditional way for declaring the arrival of Thrissur Pooram. And only eight families of each region have been granted the rights to hoist the flag by Shakthan Thampuran. It is our family who has the right to hoist the flag in the Choorakkattukara Bhagavathy Temple. For almost the past eight – ten years I also used to be a part of it along with my uncles as eldest of the budding generation of Appat (my mother’s family name). So staying away for all these days from all these events is not an easy task for me.

To enjoy Pooram, one needs to dilute and be a part of it. Even the sun, the heat and the sweat is a part of this heavenly episode. Even the lime juice and the butter milk provided in the road sides of Thrissur Round have the taste and elf of Pooram in it. Even the tiredness and the wandering on that day have a gratification.

And that which lays the composition for the entire event is the Pandi Melam and Panchavadyam. Melam is a classical percussion concert or Melam (ensemble) led by the ethnic Kerala instrument called the Chenda and accompanied by Ilathalam (cymbals), Kuzhal and Kombu. The most celebrated Pandi Melam is staged inside a temple compound at the Vadakkumnathan shrine's precincts in Thrissur. For the last several years, Peruvanam Kuttan Marar is the lead conductor for this symphony of drums known as Elanjithara Melam.

Panchavadyam, literally meaning an orchestra of five instruments, is basically a temple art form has evolved in Kerala. Of the five instruments, four -- Timila, Maddalam, Ilathalam and Idakka -- belong to the percussion category, while the fifth one, Kombu, is a wind instrument. However, in contrast to a Chenda Melam, Panchavadyam uses different instruments though Ilathalam and Kompu are common to both. Panchavadyam which is conducted for Thrissur Pooram will have artistes totaling around 60.

Like any other forms of orchestra, the Chenda Melam and Panchavadyam have no rehearsals or so on. And a true art requires no rehearsals to perform. It just needs to happen. The whole crowd...the entire Thrissur will be seen encouraging the artists by raising their hands in accordance to the pitch of Melam. As the pitch increases, it becomes a magical experience of sound. This is a monopoly of Thrissur Pooram. It is a true divine contribution to the World of Art.

At home too its high voltage celebration on this day with all our relatives. We go out for the Pooram in groups. Each of them has their own beloved event in Pooram. But we, the second generation have no special event. We have Pooram as one whole event. In between those events we have a peep into the C M S School where the Elephants participating on the Thiruvambady side and also the Paramekkavu Temple’s Agrashala area where the Elephants participating on the Paramekkavu side will be preparing for their turn to rock the show. Elephants have always been a craze for me right from the time I started to talk. And it’s the same for all the people of Thrissur too. I remember the renowned poet and writer Madambu Kunjukuttan saying “People of Thrissur have elephant’s black in their blood more than the crimson of hemoglobin.”

I am missing it all… But when I close my eyes I can see those vivid colors, I can hear Thrissur roaring deafening the whole world, I can feel the enthrallment, I feel the turbulence, fierceness and the beauty of Vedikkett. I can sense everything in heartbeats clarity and I can feel the spirit emitted from percussions racing wildly with the blood cells in my veins. No distance can defeat that. I am only the size of an atom’s fraction in this event. If this is the height of my spirit, I wonder how high could be the spirit of Vadakkumnathan...

Nothing is permanent. The tuskers, the artists, the people…keeps changing…everything and everyone will have to move as time rolls. But like for the past two hundred and eleven years Vadakkumnathan will remain the same…he will be there without being a part of anything but yet to witness Pooram until time stops galloping. I envy him…just for this single reason….

Pooram is not something which is or which can be suddenly made. It is a culture. It is a divine festival which once experienced becomes a feeling and remains in the core of your heart. A feeling which becomes the heartbeat for every Thrissurkaaran which has been flown through several generations to reach us. And our mission must be to brighten its color and to pass it on to the next generation.

A billion thanks to His Highness King Shakthan for gifting an event so heavy in all facets it possesses for his subjects yet to be born…. I feel proud when I take in a breath on the land of Vadakkumnathan which was ruled by King Shakthan.

A million Greetings and Salutes to my King…


“Rajaadhi Rajan, Thrishivaperoor desam vaazhum Raja Rama Varman Shakthan Thampuran…Neenaal vaazhattee….!!! …Neenaal vaazhattee….!!! …Neenaal vaazhattee…!!!”

A Royal 350cc Dream.

He was in the garage awaiting a touch of mine…a little dusty…he’s my Bullet 350…the one and only single thing that I dreamt and desired for sixteen years. And this four months gap that came two months after I earned him made me crazier about this 350cc fat boy. I walked around him, dusted him with my kerchief, gave a pat on the tank with my fingertips, and then threw my right leg across him, equaled the ampere, and slightly pushed the kicker. Slowly and steadily he responded ...DHOPP... DHOPP... DHOPP... the clamor which used to drive me crazier than the craziest being on hell, heaven, and earth. My right foot rose to shift gear to the first position. I felt a change in his roar. He was ready for the take-off. Each movement of mine seemed to be mechanical. The man and the machine were moving in tandem as if they knew each other for ages. Slowly, the four fingers of my left hand which held the clutch closely to the handle grip loosened. We started to move now.

I was enjoying each and every nanosecond of those actions. I felt prouder than Alexander the Great on Bucephalus when I’m on my heavy-metal 350cc cast iron engine. We are running on the NH-47. The cold wind carrying sprinkles of small drops is embracing me…I can hear a song in the background. I’m confused. Does it sound like my alarm? Pazhavoor is knocking at the door...Begorraaa..!!! Was that a dream..?? Oh no...

The Bullet was the only single thing that I have wished to own right from the age of nine. I still remember that afternoon when I started to notice this bike that moves with a resonance like at least ten continuous firing bazookas.

July-August was the time when we used to fly to Kerala from Dubai for spending our summer vacation. One afternoon when we were heading towards Muthuwara (Amma’s place) from Thrissur, near the Patturaikkal junction a man in a maroon shirt overtook our Ambassador cab. Just then I heard Achan and our driver talking to each other about the bike that man was riding. From the back seat, I peeped to have a glance of that guy through the windshield of our cab. I couldn’t see him again. But we could still hear that...DHOPP...DHOPP...DHOPP...

That was how I started to notice this machine. As time fled this grew so much in me that anyone who knew me was aware of the Bullet element in me too. But when will I gain it...I knew that one day I will earn it. But when…?? How far am I from that day..?? Even though these questions which I used to ask myself used to hurt me...I was pretty well aware and sure that a day is definitely there.

It was on the 18th of July, 2009 when I made my first move towards this great dream. I dashed into the showroom near Thrissur railway station. From there I got the brochure and various details along with a piece of shocking news that the Bullet Standard 350cc model was going to be discontinued in April 2010. I didn’t know if I could win the race with my only dream before that time...because I was only going to join my new office on the 20th of July, 2009. The reason why I walked into that showroom was just to set a target that within a certain period I should own my dream. But now I was totally confused thinking about whether I would be able to save INR 80,000 by April 2010..?? From here destiny takes its chance to roll the dice in the game.

Everything was almost set with February – March as the deadline. Now Vivu (my first cousin) also joins the party. The wait and savings were going smoothly until September when I was chosen as one among the four-member team to fly to Indonesia on deputation any time before January. Though this was a very good opportunity for me, all our plans were crushed. But it didn’t foment us. We believed maybe it was destined to get a little early for us. And on the 28th of November, 2009 was our day to conquer that sixteen-year dream.  I now own a bullet...!!!

Now when the tires of my Bullet rolls through the path on which the chariot wheels of king Shakthan once rolled…I’m confused again…is it the Bullet that came down from my dream world or is it that I am absorbed into that globe...

When I have a Mother waiting for me, a Father guiding me, a Teacher praying for me, and above all a Deity who is always looking for a chance to bless me...I believe...that no dream shall dare to stay away from me...but I hardly have any dreams left...

An Awesome Journey Decorated with Values – Friendship..!!!

March 5, 2010:

It happened again. Genuine and unconditional, that is how I would like to answer when I am asked to describe Friendship. I know it is more than that. Rest remains as a deep feeling in my inner self. Yet another friend is untying by distance. It’s a wound. It hurts. But it won’t last long. There is Time. He will come to cure it for me. He has helped me several times in doing so, in situations worse than this. But this time when it happened I thought to pen it. Felt like sharing…that’s all…

I commit to memory attending the interview with the least measure of apprehension or anticipation. I got the job. I joined my first job place in July, 2009. That was quite an unexpected windfall I got. I didn’t have to hunt for a job. It was not at all by my credit. Let me be more specific.

I was a tender kid, just a kid in my new office in contrast to my life until then. Apparently that was a total different world for me. Each and every face was brand new. Everything was changed in just one day. My dress code changed from casuals to formals. My fellow mates changed from classmates and batch mates to colleagues. My superiors changed from Teachers to Bosses. The whole thing happened in just one day. I’m a professional now. As I said earlier, if it was a miracle it was not by my big poise, but just because of the muscle of destiny. Days passed without any kind of expression.

I know…I will have some souls here too. But don’t know who they are and when and how will I run into them. I became close to many people before I met them, but the frequency never used to match. It’s not that I wrangle with all those who are not my friends. But I remain a lot reserved. I refuse to open up. Not intentionally, it’s an in-built feature. I can’t help it. Almost 2 months passed. As I believed and trusted in my destiny, I got 3 friends here. Again this time all of them elder than me. It seems that I am not all that fine in communicating with people of my same age. Like my friends sphere in my lovely Thrissur like Sureshettan, Sasi uncle, Venkidi Sami, Sojan Chettan, Dr. Ramkumar, Avinash, DivyaChechy(s) and some of my schoolmates with whom I'm still in touch..., here also I’m gaining some angels lacking wings – I got them.

Days were simply great after meeting them. Office ambiance (for me) by no means remained the same. Their friendship gave me a very good growth in that until then strange atmosphere of my 1st job place. Mails, sms’, going out for lunch, treats, calling each other’s nicknames, photo sessions, giving me the flashbacks of various gossips in office...So on, it went. I never thought I would be a fraction of them. But I really loved the friendship of those three even before being a part of them. Seeing such lovely closeness also gives me immense bliss. Here also…my entry was automatic.

Somehow… somewhere…someone... keeps sending some persons to be my friends. They develop into my brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, grandparents and all formats of blood relation according to their age. Perhaps I can utter a hundred stories where these “wave-length” relations have come as a direct proxy whenever and wherever the blood relation fails either to live or to uphold its quality. I love me more for my affection and relation that I have with these people.

This could be the friendship with the shortest span of my life. But it never failed to drill so deep and hard into me. Really a couple of good days were those. Our visit to Indonesia on deputation spited the gang to two halves. Two months after that…on this day came the second split. She got a nice offer away from here, and is planning to settle down there with her husband who already got a job there and her cute little son. This is the most gripping trait of life. Because the twists and turns it makes in our journey without a roadmap is simply beyond the imaginations of any story writer. It may sometimes be a reason to laugh and sometimes a reason to cry. Nothing stands forever. Sometimes we also pray for them, when we understand that there is a better part of life waiting for them far away forms us.

Perhaps, I think that we should not be blindly attached to anyone. Because, the more you are attached to a person the more will be the pain when he/she is separated from us. As a kid I remember myself weeping when I miss my cousins and relatives when we reach back Dubai after our summer vacation. Amma used to scold me a lot for being attached to people so deeply and so soon. She always says that that will be your flaw in life. She was true. Incidents like parting, death, break ups etc gave me practical’s of Amma’s theories. Those changed me.

But still, even today I love people and get attached to them much sooner and deeper than before. But the tides that hit the shores within me keep blowing a slow and cold breeze which always keep on saying softly without hurting me “The story of Friendship is Eternal…but the characters keep changing. Don’t say that you want the same characters throughout...Everyone needs a chance to meet everyone…Don’t be the end of any chain…be a part of it...” This strategy has really given me a revival. I think the awareness of detachment makes you powerful.

An office without four of us working together was not unimaginable. As I told, I had already scripted these episodes and have read them several times as our friendship grew thicker and deeper. Parting with friends in physical distance is not a new thing for all of us. There are times when we don’t even think of them as we gallop into future bearing the pressure, pleasure, struggle and new friends. Even though I too am nothing different, what I pray and strive for is to be in touch with all those who was and is my friends at least until I’m brain dead. Because I believe that relationships are not a disposable product that we buy from the store of Good God…it should be gifted…!!!

…but still…even though I spelled all these…sometimes when some of the most beautiful flicks and scenes of those days make a flicker in psyche…it…it aches…

Thoovanathumbikal

I remember the song...”Onnam ragam paadi..onnine maathram thedi.." I used to cry when I was a kid of 3-4 years old to hear that song again and again without knowing that there was no rewinding in radio. That was my favorite song those days. No. Perhaps I can say that was the song which I could recognize as the first song of my life which I discovered to sing by myself.

That song became dearer to me when I saw Mohanlal in it. Our whole family are real Mohanlal fans. For us, when we grew up Mohanlal became Lalettan among our cousins. And our life in Thrissur became yet another factor for this movie to catch my soul. I was in love. No, not 'was', I’m in true blind love with my town, the typical Thrissur slang, the Thrissur Round and Vadakkumnathan Temple... I can breathe easily there...

It was during my B.com 2nd year that I joined NIIT. I got some pretty good friends there. Rakesh, Saneesh, Jaggoo, Venkidi, Rahul a.k.a Committee, Rashid, Geo, Sreekesh and Sreenath. As like in all the students gang, movies used to be the main topic for our hot discussions during the intervals and other leisure hours. But the factor to be noticed was, never ever was it about the current releases. It always used to be about the classics that had been made in Malayalam. We were crazy about Padmarajan and Bharathan movies. Those were a set of real good days.

In the duo, Padmarajan stood a little higher among us. Again a reason was born which brought Thoovanathumbikal closer to me. It will be suicidal if i just say that it’s a good movie. It’s a class. With no similarities, without minding any bloody criticisms, a story like a river...an essence like a poem…that is bold, beautiful and strong from all possible view points. Both the protagonists, Jayakrishnan and Clara possess a multi faceted outfit. Though Jayakrishnan was a real life character, the moulding by Padmarajan and the rendering by Mohanlal was simply brilliant. And Clara...what to say about that character. She is the linchpin of the story. You can also see Padmarajan beautifully signing this classic with rain which makes a cameo appearance in the movie.

Even though I told all these, I have only seen this classic bits and pieces during those days. i never got a chance for seeing it in a stretch until I bought the CD with brother-in-law, Dineshettan from Music Park, Thrissur. Thank God..!! For we have so many crazes in common. Like…the films of Mohanlal, sound of Yesudas…and it goes on. Since then I don’t know how many times I have watched this film. That is one of those classic movies I have in my mobile also, since there are some things I would like to be with me wherever I go.The story depicts a friendly, sincere and virile man and his resolutions, his crazes and so on. It’s a true story with a handful of class artists and shockingly brilliant sequences. Another major factor was the locations, that was naturally natural.I reckon…, the theory of diminishing marginal utility taught in our economics class turns out to be something meaningless every time I watch this movie. Each time the satisfaction climbs a never ending sky. There is no saturation.

Every time I see this flick there is a sense of contentment .I think the climax has a lot to do with this. The movie keeps haunting me for hours after I watch it and this happens every single time. Especially the background score...WOW!!

I couldn’t help feeling nostalgic.... I am satisfied yet another time…

Thoovanathumbikal..."Butterflies of the spraying rain"....

Miss Rema

She was a well learned Brahmin lady who did about 61 substantive years on Mother Earth. One who was able to speak volumes about moral values, Indian heritage and tradition, and above all mathematics-the maths. She was seen only with the company of her better half, her Swami, which is how she used to call him, Mr. Venkateswaran. Who always used to be by her left side.

Teacher…that is how everyone used to call her. She worked as the Mathematics departments head in Vimala College, Thrissur. An ardent devotee of Vadakkumnathan. A very cheerful mother for the all kids she knew, especially for those, whom she used to meet regularly in Vadakkumnathan temple during those times. Though she hasn’t taught us in schools or so, yet we too, Amma, mol and me, started calling her Teacher...Miss Rema.

Very soon we occupied a good part in her heart. She was the senior most of my mom’s that Vadakkumnathan gifted me. But before that sheer chance of acquaintance, we used to reckon Teacher as a wonder lady from Divya chechy (She is the first among my many sisters that Vadakkumnathan gifted me...), as a lady with tremendous will strength, as someone who is dearest to my Vadakkumnathan. Because, before that we knew that she was not just a survivor of breast cancer but, is shaking hands to the excruciation of pernicious leukemia which was just an infant then.

Days passed. Months passed stealing those days. Teacher’s house became one of my “before-home” places after my class time like Sureshettan’s show room, Ray’s and Mohan uncle’s houses and all. I became one of her best friends. Some people used to make fun of me saying I only had many superannuated friends. But those moments, being in their gang, to hear stories of their time and about hot business deals going on in Thrissur, unwanted current affairs discussions while sitting under the Asoka tree’s concrete platform in Vadakkumnathan will be the next thing that I would thirst for when away from my Thrissur, after Amma and Vadakkumnathan.

Everything went on good until that day when Teacher fainted while bathing. The much awaited blood test report didn’t have anything that was good to reveal. It could only say that she was eyed by the Unknown. Though she was a little shaken, she was still confident. They then started to seek all extremes of treatment available. She was hospitalized in Vellore. Some nights when pain tears her apart she used to call Amma. When I hear Amma consoling her, I remember Teacher saying “When your body aches, that can be cured with your will strength and mere medicines. But when some twists happen in life that mashes your soul and mental, only the Omnipotent can lend his supportive hand of blessing for you. Your Amma is such a person who stands steady and stern with stout even after she was mashed mentally several times by the twists in life. She has a protective layer of blessings of her ancestors and all the Gods. Whenever I feel my disease is teasing me, Sobha comes first in my mind. Her voice solaces me, her words energizes me”.

Now, more than being a credential, this is a real blessing for my Amma – The Great. Not for hearing something good from someone like her. Because that is very easily possible, for she never speaks anything disconfirming about anyone. She has always had something good in everyone. But being a mental heal for her is something divine. That day I really wished if she said something like that about me too. Because, with those words comes immense blessing from the bottom of her heart. I have never felt that I was someone who deserves to hear something like that.

It took more than a year and a half for disease to defeat her body. But the will strength was still the same. When there was nothing else more to be done from the side of medicines, she was discharged from the Vellore hospital and brought back home. She was back in her routine. She was also regular in Vadakkumnathan. All these days, though she was coming, everyone’s mind murmured that we won’t be able to see her for long. Her hair shortened, her whole body was swollen. Almost a month and a half rolled away, when the disease returned with all its strength as if to play its final round.

I remember that night; it was about 10:30pm when our land phone rang. I attended the call. It was Swamy at the other end with a very short conversation. It was like this “Today Doctor told me that Rema’s condition is really bad and that she will not complete this night. But she heard our conversation. So I just called to tell this to you”. I told this to Amma in the same tone. And Amma asked me to be there at once, because teacher want you there. When I reached there she was lying in her room as if all set for the final journey. We spoke overnight. About death then recovering from it and so on. She was gradually picking up. I could feel it. But she can’t take it long. I knew that.

In the days that remained, Teacher was under the treatment of The Pain and Palliative Care Unit in Thrissur. It is a worldwide organization for cancer patients. It has no mission to cure the disease. It prepares the patients who are suffering in their final stage to travel well. That’s all. And it has Doctors who work voluntarily in it. This was a real blessing for Teacher too. She suffered no pain towards her end of consciousness. Two-three days passed. I used to be there whenever time allows. From a friend, I became a son for her. One day, time was around 10:00pm, I helped her to lie down in her bed. She was talking greedily. When I asked her to take rest, she told something…”today some of my students came to see me. I told about you to everyone. I said that I have a Hero here called Varun…he’s my 3^rd son… you will have a very bright future”. I stood as if hit by a lightning… I could do nothing but explode into tears. I could speak nothing in return. I gave her a deep kiss on her forehead with all my love. That was the last day she spoke in her life. She was in comatose for 3 days after that.

The Final day:

Jul 25th, 2007: From the information that I gained from Dr. Ramkumar, it was a shock for me to hear that she won’t cover this night…or tomorrow’s noon. It was around 8:00pm then. I immediately rang Radha Aunty who was a nurse in the Pain and Palliative Care Unit in Thrissur. For the past one week, after Teacher consulted with the Pain and Palliative Care, Radha Aunty used to visit her daily twice or thrice. She too told me that it’s almost time… Around 9:30 my mobile was ringing. It was Radha Aunty. With a deep breath that had all my prayers I picked up the call. The conversation was straight. “its almost time. Come fast.” I had no second thought. Sprang with my bike. Picked up Radha aunty on the way to teacher’s house.

That was for the first time I was entering on a situation or a stage of life where I could share a scene with Death. I was not entering that room for the first time. But that day I felt it strange within it. I could feel an energy that was not human. It was calm. It was cold. I could see Teacher breathing her last breath. I could hear Teacher’s daughter crying and her two son’s easing her controlling themselves.

If I was seeing this situation in a film, I feel, it could have given me a stammering mind at least for a few minutes. But here I felt as if in heaven when I was listening Radha aunt’s instruction to turn teacher’s body straight. The atmosphere had something divine in its fragrance. May be Vadakkumnathan himself might have come down to welcome his dear child to a place unknown.

While writing this, I dint count the number of drops that took birth in my eyes, lived through my cheeks and died in my T-shirt. When I have retrospection, I feel I am honored to be myself a quantum contributor for at least that decrepit smile which appeared on her face to welcome me to her room on the last day she could remember on this planet. But, I still can hear a child in me crying out loud when he lost yet another big soul in life. Those could be his tears.

----- I love you…my dear Miss Rema. I don’t miss you… for I know you will be there with me to celebrate when I win and solace me when I fail…