A Bonus for the ‘Retrospective’ Me.

Writing about the various formats of departures and separation episodes happening in with me have become a cliché in APHORISMS. Those weren’t intentional. People may find this monotonous. But when it’s a page of life you can’t just escape skipping it.

And what has been written until now is a preface for me to crash into yet another story of separation. This time it’s something beyond the “separation story”.

The story starts from the 14^th September, 2009 when I met this man. For various (silly) reasons I’m bound myself not to reveal anything more about him. He was an elder brother for me, in all ways except in the blood-relation way. My living with him have taught me many “what should be” and “what should not be”. And the most remarkable achievement that I could achieve very soon after meeting him was an extension to this friendship. For as I always used to say, when a relation infects me beyond the barriers of friendship, they nest a space in me of any format of blood relation with respect to their age. As a matter of that theory, here, I got an elder brother and to elder sisters..and extensions are still coming in..that's the magic of this relation. I'm lovin' it..!!!

I believe that I used to be the biggest nuisance in the group explaining them my own plans, plots and principles. Being the younger one in the gang I used to irritate them the most and eat up their ears (ahem..!! FYI…not the Mike Tyson way...), creating an overall mess. For, I’m very possessive when I feel a person is mine. That is my flaw. Hearing anything about them as a black or gray joke from another person used to be thing that irritates me the most. For me, it’s my mistake that I heard something about them when I’m their best friend. Its my failure. And when there happens something like that, I take all the pain to make them understand what I feel.  Some may like, while some may not.

Now this is where my eyes shut themselves at the bright light of revelation. A revelation which speaks in me in a low voice… “I hate me for loving people so much”…

So this was how it went on as of now, for a little more than a year to be a little more precise. In the meanwhile, a petal had already separated from this flower. And, separation just means the increase of the physical distance between the so called “petals”. Nothing more…perhaps I think the intensity is directly related to the distance. It’s been proven several times.

But, even though I have had several such relations, this was a special group. For, they came out from nowhere and they provided me the strategies and arms in a battlefield on which I was an unarmed kid.

That was how it went…

Now when this man (about whom I started this post) was leaving, there arouse an idea among the remaining 3 petals to give him a memento of our friendship. The idea and its execution were clinically operated without losing even the slightest quantum of the suspense element for him. Following this, there came an opinion from one of the petals; to make some space in Aphorisms for this friendship. They asked me to script it with all what I have in mind.

Being an admirer of the past, I used to have a note of each passing day. Not a regular daily diary entry. I keep an Excel sheet which used to be my private joy. When the wanted me to write on our friendship I revealed (for the first time) that there was one such thing which I used to maintain. And I mailed it to them. Surprisingly for me, it surprised them a lot. They kept reading it on and on... one of them said its great and the other said they loved me a lot for that. Hmm….

Past, Present and Future. Among this I would always say that ‘Past’ is the most beautiful. Because, to evaluate the beauty of a painting the artist needs to finish it. During the ‘Present’ he can only keep on adding final touches to the beauty. Only after the final touch he admires the beauty of his own painting. Hence, I feel, beauty is always something of the past. ‘Future’ is only anticipation, just like a suspense-thriller.

Past reminds you of your mistakes, the hardships you overcame and also at some point bring a slight tender smile onto your face which sometimes can take shape of a big laughter. It may sometimes submerge you in thoughts which may roll out as few drops or a deep sigh.

I’m also really happy for myself that I could create a joy for my friends to a cent. Perhaps I think…the most apt memento that I can give for those three petals are the notes on those days…the Past…the memmories..and each degree of curve drawn on their faces to form a silly cute smile is my bonus...