Angels sans wings.

I have a strong belief about the existence of angels. Don’t know how many among us can join me when I say this. Let it be anything, their presence was felt in various episodes of life. They don’t have wings. They don’t fly. They are just someone who may sometimes match with my frequencies. And I call them my FRIENDS.

In my case I’m lucky enough to get a mass collection of angels of different age, colors, and both genders. When some among them become too closer, they take the form of any format of a blood relation with respect to their age, the warmth of their affection and the monsoon of care they shower on me. The constant interactions in those different circles of angels have helped a lot to be least good among the worst human beings on earth. I love me more while with them.

Mr. Good God has always kept sending these blossoms to me at different stages until today. And I think the so-called “Formality” fails to survive in this relation. This may be because there is no middle-man between me and the sender.

As of me, I never left out contact with any person who has befriended me. At least once in a blue moon I get in touch with them. I don’t know how much they rate me as a friend. For, time always used to make it difficult for me to let them know how much I loved them. Among them there are a very little who knew why and what was between me and them.

But by God’s grace, I get ample number of friends wherever I go. Even these on-site visits added many to my friends list in facebook. Many of them don’t know English. My sincere thanks to Google Translate which helps us to do the online chats. It is helpful. Technology can brighten the horizon, widen the frontiers, kill the distance and deepen the ocean of friendship. It’s true. 

Never stay like an anchored ship in the ocean of life, when the tides of friendship hit you from all sides. Flow along with it. All you have to do is to decide the right combination of wind, wave and direction and then sail along. A good sailor is the one who identifies the right combination of wind, wave and direction until the end of his voyage. A good sailor is someone who talks to the wind, feel the warmth of the tides and embrace the directions. He won’t feel he’s all alone in the lonely ship sailing in a plain ocean..

Yes..!! Friends…, they are Angels sans wings….

A dream that none dared to dream…!!!

The stagnant smell of spirits and medicines in the hospital verandas always used to disturb me a lot. As someone opens the door of that spacious hospital room, the squeaking noise of the wheel-chairs and the operation beds as they rolled over the hospitals marble flooring made a slight peek into the room. Also some impatient footsteps of the doctors who were on their rounds followed by at least a dozen nurses and the beep of various machines which was responding to the signals given by the strings and wires glued to the patient’s body was heard in perfect clarity. Some of my very close friends and some doctors and nurses were also with us. Could not remember who else were there in that spacious hospital room. All of us were assembled in that room following the doctor’s call for the people really close to this patient.

Apart from the beep sound of the various machines and the arrhythmic breathing of the patient, grey and cold silence that prevailed in the room takes control of the atmosphere again. After few touches with the stethoscope on the hairy chest of the patient, the doctor said "Anytime".

I was that patient….

Was it an accident or any other disease that led my way to that bed..?? Don’t know. Vision was blurring and I could hardly recognize the visitors. Anyways, their voices could be recognized. One of them tried calling my name. But the oxygen mask and my overall impuissance was held up high to be a barrier for making any response to their calls or add some wit to their conversation.

Suddenly I felt myself failing to grab enough air through the mask following which I ran out of consciousness. But I'm ‘awake’...like Mr. Clayton in the Joby Harold’s movie. Feels good to know that I haven't lost my wit even then. I appreciate that. The visuals, the dialogues and the background score faded. "It’s time...it’s time to leave all my favorite people, smells, tastes, roads, bikes and Thrissur"; I told myself.  My chest is congested. I wanted to cough. But I couldn’t even dare to think of the pain. Perhaps that would be the last time I move my body myself. It could all get over by that.

I coughed...and saw thick red blood spilling into air, like big and small ruby crystals, as that cough was released with all my leftover strength which raised my body almost to a straight legged sitting position. My own blood spilling into the air – that was the last scene I saw… I was getting out of the body that I used which was called Varun by the world. As I came out, my body fell back to bed in a slow-motion. I’m dead.

I wished to be a free man while passing through those clichés. A free-man, without any strings attached to my relationship table. I wish I was…and I guess I was...

It was an unbearable freezing temperature in the new world like a new born baby.  The overnight rain has gifted a chilly morning. The weather waked me. The action packed dream last night placed my blanket somewhere far from me.

As I got up I felt as if it was my first morning in the other world...I felt a cold freshness. Loved it...my death…no one thinks of it in the race called life…its fun to… And the words that pierced first into my thought were that of Late Bharath Murali - the renowned Indian actor.

"An Iron Rod boasts that he is the ultimate being on the surface of earth. But, Fire corrects him by melting the Iron Rod the moment they meet. Then Water comes to defeat the Fire which then boasts of its victory over Fire until it is evaporated by the sun to the Clouds. The Air which then mashes and scatters the Clouds is tamed by the Man. Man - he loses himself when Sleep conquers him. But, Sleep can’t keep his victory for long. It is only until Death comes to grab him. Yes..!! Death is the real hero."

1 year @ iSmart (a diary entry)

20th July, 2010 :

Today, I completed the 1st year of employment in my life. This as a great honor. And feel so that I was able to  gather more in this one year alone than what was done in the previous 21 years of life as a student. Three hundred and sixty five days back, on this day, it was like joining a new school where there are only seniors. But now, being one among them gives me great pleasure at heart.

Thank you iSmart. Thank you to those very few people whom I consider as my teachers. And more than that thank you; my dear god, for special gems that you added into my best friends list in this span.

Thank you Softies.....Thank You.....